Making Successful Science Students
Holiday
Jokes
Need a laugh? Below you will find several Holiday Jokes and a story or two. As time permits I will add funny holiday stories and jokes I come across. If you have heard one you liked, feel free to send it to me... You never know, it just may end up on my list!.....
Last Updated: 12/14/2004
The The Below titles will take you to funny holiday stories.
"Twas The Night WAY Before Christmas"
Now for the funny holiday Jokes
Holliday Jokes: Current #: 21
Christmas Jokes
- Q: What kind of music do elves like best?
A: "Wrap" music!
- Q: How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
- Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?
A: Why, shortbread of course!
- Q: What kind of money do elves use?
A: Jingle bills!
- Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
- Q: How long should an elf's legs be?
A: Just long enough to reach the ground!
- Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
- Q: Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log!
- Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school?
A: The "elf"-abet!
- Q: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
- Q: Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin?
A: Cinder-"elf"-a!
- Q: One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
A: And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
- Q: Why do elves scratch themselves?
A: Because they're the only ones who know where its itchy!
- Q: How do elves greet each other?
A: "Small world, isn't it?"
- Q: Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in?
A: Mini vans!
- Q: What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?
A: A real Christmas Card!
- Q: What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
A: Gnome on the range!
- Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
- Q: Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band?
A: Because he had the drum sticks!
- I Q: f athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
- Q: What's another name for Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses!
- Q: Where do you find elves?
A: Depends where you left them!