AG Bell Counselor, Ms. Conley
Counselor’s Corner
May 2008
A Message from Pat Conley,
Counselor at A.G. Bell
During this school year, students in grades 3-5 at Bell have been working with a program called Steps to Respect, a bully prevention curriculum by the Committee for Children located in Seattle, WA. (www.cfchildren.org) Below is an article written by the staff at Committee for Children. It has some helpful information for parents and caregivers.
What Parents Should Know About Bullying
What Is Bullying?
Bullying includes behaviors such as hitting, teasing, taunting, spreading rumors and gossip, stealing, or excluding someone from a group. Bullying actions are carried out on purpose with the intent to harm someone.
Bullying is usually a repeated activity. However, it may also occur as a one-time event. It always involves a power imbalance. The person bullying has more power due to such factors as age, size, strength, support of friends, and access to resources such as toys. Children and adults sometimes find it difficult to recognize bullying. For example, a fight between friends or rough play between children with equal power are not bullying situations. They become bullying, however, when one person has more power and uses it to hurt, frighten, or exclude the other person.
Who Bullies?
People sometimes assume that only boys bully, but that is not
true. Girls also bully others. Boys tend to use methods such as hitting,
fighting, and threatening. These face-to-face behaviors are easy to observe.
Girls do bully using physical and verbal attacks, but they often use behind-the-back methods that are harder to see. These more subtle behaviors include getting peers to exclude others and spreading rumors and gossip. It’s important to remember though, that girls and boys use both face-to-face and behind-the-back methods.
What Are the Consequences of Bullying?
Bullying jeopardizes children’s safety and potentially creates
both short- and long-term problems for all children involved. Children who are
bullied are more likely to develop future academic problems and psychological
difficulties. Serious problems such as depression and low self-esteem can
result, and they can continue into adulthood.
Children who bully and continue this behavior as adults have greater difficulty developing and maintaining positive relationships. Research shows that without effective intervention, children who regularly bully others may grow up to become perpetrators of domestic violence, child abuse, hate crimes, sexual abuse, and other illegal behavior. In fact, children with bullying problems at age 8 are six times more likely to be convicted of a crime by age 24 than children who do not bully.
How Many Children Does Bullying Really Affect?
Bullying affects virtually all children. Although it is true that some children
will never be bullied, research shows that children witness 85 percent of school
bullying incidents. Child witnesses, or bystanders, may feel powerless to stop
bullying. They may fear being bullied next. And they may feel sad or guilty
about the abuse others experience. Additionally, bystanders may see those who
bully succeed at getting what they want. This may tempt bystanders to take part
themselves.
Isn’t Bullying Just a Normal Part of Growing Up?
The many myths about bullying include the notion that bullying is
a harmless childhood activity and a normal part of growing up. Confusion about
the difference between conflict and bullying can fuel this myth. Although
occasional peer conflict is inevitable, bullying is not inevitable. In a
conflict, both sides have equal power to resolve the problem. But bullying
involves the intentional, one-sided use of power to control another. Its harmful
consequences can affect people seriously for the rest of their lives.
If you would like further information on bullying, go to the website (www.cfchildren.org) or contact me. (mconley@lwsd.org)
Pat Conley
425.822.7450X10